|I love my little arts. I hope you do, too.|
Today for a special treat I took husband "Ironhide" and oldest and most steeped in TFdom son "Bee" to a special IMAX/free t-shirt advance screening of Transformers: The Last Knight. It was crazy and fun to do something like this, and we had a blast.
...I didn’t hate it?
– The story moved along at a really nice clip – took a lot of things as read, and didn’t lallygag around. You could definitely tell they got different writers this go-round. The beginning felt particularly strong. Things were DIFFERENT, which was fun to look at; and the whole thing felt like ONE STORY written with the intent to GO TOGETHER. (Catch me, I might faint!)
– The racist/stereotyped characters were kept to a minimum. (Sad that this is a pro. #LowBar) There was one ‘Con that was almost Skids/Mudflap bad, but he [spoiler]. And The Black Kid that worked at the junkyard was basically there to be a thin version of Donut Kid from the ‘07 movie. But he also wasn’t onscreen much.
– The visuals were verreh pretteh. Lots of green grass contrasting with metallic robots. Lots of cool stuff happening.
– The young girl managed not to become a sexpot. (Again, #LowBar!) She doesn’t always have a lot to do, but she survived without being Bayed at. Don’t recall her name, though… The older British girl (also not memorable enough for me to have her name) fared worse, but still wasn’t ever draped over anything. And she did have an important role to play. Huzzah?
– I didn’t flat-out despise any of the humans. Simmons appeared for a bit, and he’s always bugged me; but he was a bit-player. I enjoyed Anthony Hopkins (who seemed to be having fun, and managed to pull off some near-Shia-level babbling lines at some points, so go-go acting skillz I guess). I cheered for the return of Morshower and Lennox, and Marky-Mark never got on my nerves at all. Amazing!
– Quintessa was… sliiiiightly closer to the girl-Primus I’d wanted than just “a Quintesson.” But less realized than she could have been. These movies do not know how to handle their villains; they never make them more than cardboard.
– Robot Pros: Cogman (pronounced COGm’n because British) was pure glee. Hot Rod has a cool gun, though I really don’t care for anything else about him and his accent was gimmicky and pointless. Bumblebee was almost interesting again, and had some good comedy. Hound is love, as always: <3 Kup-Hound 5EVR. And Drift leveled up a lot in meditator-zen-glee; I hated him in AoE, and loved him here. I dug Megatron’s new design a lot more than I thought I would. It was dope. (And Frank Welker got to chew some good scenery in his first scene, especially. I grinned.) There was some Hearts of Steel historical design that I loved for a few seconds.
– Watching it in IMAX with a crowd that cheered the opening Paramount logo sound effects was very fun. Sitting between 15-year-old Bee and my beloved Ironhide, and sharing the experience and jokes with them was THE BEST. It was really great to be able to lean over to Bee and grin, “They’re riding MARB’s!”
– Seriously, these movies have NO IDEA what to do with Megatron. He’s just… there for most of it. No sense of agency or purpose. I mean, he was trying to do something, but never felt like a real threat.
– Ditto Prime, only perhaps even more-so. Seriously, half my lines were “I am Optimus Prime.” What am I, a LITERAL TOY ON THE SHELF now??? Also, I failed because my response to the “We were brothers, once” line was, “Once.” [*shove*]Which, I mean, to be fair, all right. But still. Alas for the teamup that might have been. They try to give me “Cool Lines”™ but they don’t land. And all the bots swooning over how awesome I am can’t sell it if I’m not LEGITIMATELY AWESOME, instead of Nemmying around like a Dark Awakened dork. I feel very, very, very sad and sorry for Peter Cullen. I wonder if he’s given up.
--MIIIIIIIIICK-GUFFFFFINZ!!! “We Must Get The ___ To Save The World Because Reasons!!” Whatever.
– Megatron’s picks for his team were TRASH. I cheered for Onslaught, because he’s a dude I know. But he’s useless. And all the others have trash names and are Useless! Rubbish! (See also: obnoxious mohawk dude whom I insta-despised.) Barricade was there, which is great; I love him; but he doesn’t DO anything. There’s a little callback to his chase with ‘Bee in the first movie, but it don’t come to nuthin. Darn. I miss having fun Decepticons as well as fun Autobots. I genuinely LIKED the bots in the first movie. Oh well.
– There was wasted potential in the teamup between [spoiler] and Megatron. Remember how I said this movie felt at least like it was all one story meant to go together? Well, that don’t mean it farms, y’all. There was so much going on that nothing had time to really dig in and stick. People are doing things, and we understand why, but it all feels very hand-wavy. There are A! LOT! of plot things that appear without explanation (the very fun fanservice tiny [spoilers], for instance: Why? Are they the same as the big ones, or different? Where’d they come from? No one cares. But they were cute, and I welcome fun in these movies. Fun is NECESSARY.) So yeah – lots of times when I went, “Wait, how did----?” then just shrugged it off.
– Once again, no great music-cues. I remember there being very little music at all, in fact. (Although, oh my gosh, there is this EPIC! part with Cogman. Holy heck it was glee. But I can’t tell you. Just watch for it – you’ll know when you get there.) Looks like mah dude Steve Jablonsky is no longer feeding my particular craving. Alas.
– There’s a cool thing they’ve taken from the Transformers: Prime series, but it’s just put in as setup for the next film. They never do anything with it. So while in TFP it was revelatory and completely new, here it just feels thrown out for nothing. I do like that they’re trying to establish an ongoing larger universe now. But that means leaving us hanging. (Spoilerish comment: There’s a gal that appears in the very end that I want to be Armada Sideways SO! BAD! Because that character is SO AWESOME and would be so goshdarn cool in this movieverse. Alas, I don’t write these films. But hey – it’s another Actual Female Character who might have Something To Actually Do, so there’s that crumb…)
Overall Rating….. 5 out of 10? Maybe 6? I’ve lost my ability to be objective on these things. Better than AoE (as all things are); not nearly as annoying as most Bay-movies; plot appears somewhat coherent and contains potential; verreh pretteh.
Current Residence: Post-Ceasefire Cybertron
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Human sizes don't work for transformers
Favourite genre of music: There's something great in every genre, but I tend to like great words and a beat.
Favourite style of art: Besides comic book art? I tend to like a bit of expressionism as an icing over realism
Wallpaper of choice: AAAAARRRRRTTT!!!
Favourite cartoon character: Myself, Optimus Prime, of course!
Personal Quote: I have fought the good fight; I have finished my course.